My Unfiltered Journey: Two Years of Embracing Natural Hair

Embarking on a natural hair journey has undeniably been one of the most challenging yet profoundly rewarding experiences of my life. Two years ago, I made the conscious decision to go completely natural, leaving behind the chemicals and heat that once defined my hair care routine. To be candid, I am still very much a student in this intricate dance with my curls, coils, and kinks. Some mornings, I wake up utterly overwhelmed, contemplating a quick dash to the store for a relaxer, yearning for the ease of straightened hair. Yet, on other days, I gaze into the mirror and feel an immense sense of pride, eager to showcase the unique beauty and versatility of my natural strands to the world.

This emotional rollercoaster often leads me to question my sanity. Why would anyone willingly choose to manage such seemingly ‘tough’ and demanding hair when simpler, more conventional options exist? But then, there are those moments – often unexpected – when I feel a deep gratitude, thanking a higher power for gifting me with hair that is so distinct, so full of character, and so unapologetically me. This isn’t just a hair story; it’s a journey of self-discovery, patience, and learning to love every single strand. Let me take you through the winding path of my natural hair transformation, from the initial “big chop” to my current triumphs and ongoing learning.

The Definitive Big Chop: A Fresh Start

My first significant hair cut since high school occurred shortly after I moved to the United States. I had been wearing braids for a while, and unfortunately, they had taken a toll on my delicate baby hairs, leaving me with what we call ‘mbamba’ – a noticeable absence of hair along the hairline. Frustrated by the uneven growth and wanting a uniform canvas for my natural hair to thrive, I asked my nephew to chop off my hair. My intention was clear: I wanted to eliminate all the relaxed ends and start anew, ensuring my hair grew out evenly without resembling a peacock – no hair in the front and long in the middle, creating an awkward, unbalanced look. While my nephew did his best, he didn’t quite remove all the chemically processed sections as thoroughly as I had hoped. Nevertheless, it was a liberating first step, and I embraced the short style with a mix of excitement and trepidation.

A few months later, still determined to rid myself of every last trace of relaxed hair, I decided it was time for an even shorter cut – the true “big chop.” I visited a local barber shop, a decision that proved to be quite memorable. The white lady who was giving me the haircut visibly struggled. She candidly remarked that my hair was exceptionally thick and curly, presenting a unique challenge she wasn’t accustomed to. To ensure any future stylist would be prepared, she even left specific instructions in the computer notes for anyone who might handle my hair if I ever returned. It was an experience that truly highlighted the distinct characteristics of natural Afro-textured hair. Here’s a glimpse of what I looked like after that transformative cut. Please, just skip this picture to the next if you’re not ready for raw honesty! *covers face playfully*

Navigating the Early Stages and YouTube University

As time progressed, my hair began to grow not just in length, but in its own wisdom and stature, seemingly gaining favor with my mirror and the myriad of hair products I accumulated. The initial awkward phase slowly gave way to a burgeoning crown of curls. This is when my natural hair education truly began. I immersed myself in what I affectionately call “YouTube University,” devouring countless videos – perhaps 1756, or even more! – dedicated to natural hair care, styling techniques, and product reviews. Armed with newfound knowledge and inspiration, I eagerly started experimenting with different styles. One of my very first successful attempts, and a true classic in the natural hair community, was the fro puff.

As my hair continued its vigorous growth, so did the challenges. My once sturdy combs and hair ties started breaking with alarming frequency, victims of the increasing density and strength of my curls. This wasn’t just a minor inconvenience; it was a testament to the power and vitality of my natural hair, albeit a frustrating one at times.

I kid, but honestly, there were days when managing my hair felt like an uphill battle. It became so incredibly difficult to detangle and style that I would sometimes just leave it in an entangled, unappealing mess. I was slowly but surely transforming into what I can only describe as a “sane mad woman” – internally battling with my hair while trying to maintain composure externally. My daughters, ever observant, noticed my struggles. One morning, my eldest, with the blunt honesty only a child possesses, declared that my hair wasn’t beautiful. She then promptly dispatched her sister to gather hair accessories, determined to “fix” it for me. Their innocent intervention was a sweet reminder that even in my moments of frustration, the beauty of my natural hair was still evident to them, and they were eager to help me rediscover it. Here’s what they managed to do, a heartwarming display of childlike styling.

The Sacred Wash Day Ritual: Cleansing and Styling

Then, one fateful morning, I awoke with a renewed sense of purpose and declared it “wash day.” For those with natural hair, wash day isn’t just a simple shampoo and rinse; it’s a dedicated ritual, often spanning several hours, involving multiple steps and products. It’s a time for cleansing, deep conditioning, detangling, and setting the stage for the week’s styles. The anticipation for a truly satisfying wash day can be immense, often feeling like preparing for a mini-marathon.

While I didn’t quite use *all* the products depicted in the meme above, I certainly utilized a significant number of them! My wash day strategy typically involves carefully partitioning my hair into smaller, manageable sections. This crucial step makes the entire washing, conditioning, and detangling process much easier and prevents excessive breakage. I followed a detailed routine inspired by one of the many invaluable YouTube videos I had watched, moving through each step with newfound confidence. A huge shout-out to all the amazing YouTube natural hair vloggers out there – you are truly lifesavers! After the meticulous wash and conditioning, I proceeded to style my hair. Here are some pictures I captured on that very satisfying day, showcasing the results of my efforts.

Exploring New Styles: Bantu Knots and the Perfect Puff

As my hair continued to grow longer and gain even more volume, I decided to venture into another popular natural hairstyle: the bantu knot out. This method involves twisting sections of damp hair into knots, securing them, and allowing them to dry completely before unraveling for defined, bouncy curls. My goal was to achieve those picture-perfect, springy curls I’d seen online. While the curls weren’t as intensely defined as I had envisioned, I was still incredibly proud of the outcome and the versatility of my kinky hair. Every attempt, successful or not, felt like a step forward in understanding and appreciating my unique hair texture. It’s a process of trial and error, but each new style brings a sense of accomplishment.

Over time, as I continued to experiment, I found myself gravitating towards a consistent, reliable style that combines ease with elegance. My current go-to involves a thorough attempt at combing or detangling my hair, followed by gathering it into a voluminous high puff. This creates a chic, pulled-back look that keeps my hair out of my face while showcasing its length and texture. To complete the look and achieve a polished finish, I carefully lay down my edges with a touch of styling gel. This not only keeps stray hairs in place but also adds a refined touch to the overall style, making it suitable for both casual and more formal occasions. It’s a testament to how far I’ve come, from struggling with basic management to confidently styling my hair.

My Hair’s Best Friends: Simplicity and Shrinkage

In terms of daily care and nourishment, I’ve discovered that simplicity is often key. My natural hair’s best friends are, without a doubt, extra virgin coconut oil and water. I spritz my hair with water daily to hydrate it, then seal in that moisture with a small amount of coconut oil. This minimalist approach has worked wonders, keeping my hair soft, manageable, and healthy. Coconut oil, with its penetrating properties, helps to strengthen strands and add shine, while water is the essential hydrator that curly hair craves. This simple routine prevents dryness and promotes elasticity, crucial for preventing breakage.

This is what my hair looks like today, a result of consistent care and a growing understanding of its needs.

While the picture shows a beautiful, full head of hair, it’s actually much longer than it appears. This brings me to one of the most talked-about characteristics of natural hair: shrinkage. Shrinkage is a very real phenomenon where curly and coily hair appears much shorter than its actual length when dry, due to the curl pattern coiling up. It can sometimes be frustrating, as it hides the true growth and length retention, but it’s also a sign of healthy, elastic hair.

Continuing the Journey: Growth, Learning, and Community

And that, my friends, is the ongoing story of my natural hair journey – a dynamic adventure filled with its highs and lows, its challenges and its profound moments of self-love. I am committed to continuing to nourish it with my tried-and-true combination of coconut oil and water, and to keep pushing my boundaries by trying out new styles and techniques. The learning never truly stops with natural hair; there’s always a new product to try, a new method to master, or a new perspective to embrace.

I would love to hear from you! Do you have natural hair? What are your favorite products or styling techniques? Do you know what else I could do with my natural hair to enhance its beauty or simplify its care? Please share your wisdom and suggestions in the comments below. Together, we can continue to inspire and uplift each other in our natural hair endeavors.

As I reflect on this journey, I’m reminded of the inherent beauty and strength that lies within us, often mirrored in our physical attributes. Indeed, as the scripture says:

“And isn’t long hair a woman’s pride and joy? For it has been given to her as a covering.”

My natural hair, in all its glory and complexity, has become a source of immense pride, a beautiful covering, and a constant reminder of resilience and unique charm.